I don’t even know what else to say to you. That’s how badly you’re jammed me up. I can’t even curse you, because you’ve robbed me of my ability to write. What is it about you that makes this so hard? Is it me, rather than you? Is there some sort of chemical imbalance, some sort of mental deficiency that prevents me from writing? Or, are you really just some evil force that lurks within us all?
We all, at some point, suffer from Writers Block. A lot of us have found some sort of cure, ranging from coffee to a favorite movie, death metal to chocolate. The “cures” are all manner of things, and all supposedly work. I’ve tried a great many myself, yet have been unsuccessful thus far. I haven’t quit searching; I will destroy you, Writers Block, someday. But I can’t wait for an easy cure. I need to write now, whether you like it or not. So, here’s me. I’m calling you out, Old West-style. We’re going to end this, once and for all. Hello. My name is Garrett Chandler. You killed my writing. Prepare to die.”
- Two Days Later -
Breaking news! Local teen, Garrett Chandler, was found dead in his Fruit Heights home early this morning by a jogger. What the jogger was doing in his house, we don’t know. But, since they always find the bodies anyways, we’ll let it slide. It’s their thing. What we do know is that Garrett appears to have gone insane and killed himself by, somehow, exploding his mind. All over the house are the initials W.B. written in blood, though we are unsure of who that is at this point. Oddly enough, various pieces of Garrett’s writing were found strewn about the house, leading the investigators to believe that he somehow drove himself insane, The Shining-style. More on this hilarious story on the nine o’ clock news!
haha
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