I: Am I seeing things?
Myself: I don't know. How long have you had demonic hellspawn for a pet?
I: I wasn't aware that I had one, actually. Do these things.. Do they have names?
Myself: What do I look like, an exorcist?
I: Well, no. But I assumed that somewhere in my vast assortment of useless knowledge, I would've learned that somewhere.
Me: You did. But, to be honest, I can't pronounce the damn thing.
I: Oh... Well, how do I get rid of it?
Me: You don't. You're cursed to have it follow you around where ever you go. Though, normally it's not quite so....
Myself: Visible?
Me: Yeah. I'm sure it'll go away, though.
Myself: So, to answer your question, no. You're not seeing things.
I: That doesn't help at all.
Myself: Asshole...
Me: Why aren't you sleeping? It's three in the morning.
I: Why would you ask? You know the answer.
Me: It's only polite to ask.
Myself: Dumbass...
I: Watch it. I can't sleep. It's as simple as that.
Me: I know, no need to get snappy.
Myself: No need to ask the question in the first place. Bitch.
I: Hey, knock it off, you two. I've got enough to worry about, what with this hellspawn gnawing on my leg.
Me: Is he really? I say, he must be hungry.
Myself: Your mom was hungry.
Me: Eww... She's our mom too, idiot.
I: Yeah, thanks for that image.
Myself: Thought you might enjoy that. While I'm at it, The Game.
I: ... I hate you.
Myself: I'm you.
I: I know.
Me: Oh, shut up both of you.
Myself: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...
Me: We've got plenty of work to do.
I: Yeah, but not the motivation to do it.
Myself: That's your problem.
I: Hey! Who got us through senior year?
Me & Myself: Charlie.
I: True... But I helped!
Myself: I'm sure you did.
Me: Oh, shut it. We're getting even less done with all this bickering.
I: Were we getting things done before?
Me: No... But I think we were damn close to figuring out this hellspawn issue.
I: Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting about that.
Myself: Hey, I saw a trick in a movie once. Maybe it'll work!
I: Oh, lord...
Me: You're going to kill us all doing things like that. Hold on while I search the database for exorcism techniques...
Myself: The trick will work...
Me: Shut up. Oh, look! You know how to preform a basic exorcism!
I: Where the hell did I pick that up?
Me: Brazil, apparently. Through, I'm not sure when we went to Brazil.
Myself: The movie trick will work!
I & Me: Shut it!
Myself: Your mom shut it...
I: Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?
Myself: Wait, what did you just say?
Me: Oh, Christ! You gave it an erection!
I: Ah, damn it...
Hellspawn: Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
I: Was that... was that a pick up line?
Myself: Oh, God. Kill it!
I: With what?!
Me: Let me try something...
Myself: Oh, no...
Me: Exegi monumentum aere perennius!
I: Damn it, you made it worse!
Myself: Gnarly...
Me: Okay, okay. I can stop this. Just give me a second!
I: No! I gave you a second! Hell, I gave you three! Now it's my turn.
Myself: No way, buddy. You're the one that started this. It's my turn!
I & Me: No!
Myself: Engorgio!
Me: Oh dear God, that's foul.
I: I didn't think it could get any bigger...
Myself: Damn it, wrong spell! Expulso!
The Hellspawn explodes, showing Me, Myself, and I with gore and God knows what else.
Me: ... Well... you blew it up.
Myself: Haha! Now that is how you kill a hellspawn!
I: I hate me.
